How to Help a Loved One Who Hoards

Hoarding is more than just “messiness.” It’s a serious challenge that affects mental health, safety, and relationships. Watching a loved one struggle with hoarding can be overwhelming, but with patience and compassion, you can support them. Here are some steps to help guide the process.

1. Approach with Compassion

Avoid judgmental language like “disgusting” or “lazy.” Hoarding is often tied to trauma, anxiety, or depression. Show empathy and let them know you care about their well-being.

2. Learn About Hoarding Disorder

Understanding that hoarding is a recognized mental health condition helps you respond with patience instead of frustration.

3. Focus on Safety First

Blocked exits, tripping hazards, or biohazards (like mold, pests, or spoiled food) are top priorities. Before tackling clutter, make sure the home is safe to live in.

4. Start Small

Suggest beginning with one small area, like a countertop or a single box. Big tasks can feel overwhelming, but small wins build momentum.

5. Offer Hands-On Help

Be there to assist—not to take control. Gently encourage decisions but respect their choices. Forcing change can cause setbacks.

6. Avoid Sneaky Cleanups

Throwing items away without consent can damage trust and make the problem worse. Always work together.

7. Set Manageable Goals

Instead of aiming for a “perfect home,” focus on achievable steps: clearing walkways, creating safe cooking areas, or reclaiming one room at a time.

8. Encourage Professional Help

Sometimes, hoarding requires a team approach—mental health support plus professional cleaning assistance. Let your loved one know there are caring professionals who specialize in these situations.

9. Celebrate Progress

Every bag donated, every corner cleared, every surface cleaned is a victory. Celebrate and encourage, no matter how small the step.

10. Take Care of Yourself Too

Helping someone who hoards can be emotionally draining. Don’t forget to set boundaries and care for your own well-being.

Supporting a loved one through hoarding isn’t easy, but with compassion and patience, positive change is possible. You don’t have to do it alone—professional services can step in to help restore safety and peace to the home.